Yep, thats right, apologise! I am so so so so sorry for not being present on this blog. I'm not ashamed to say that I fell off the literary wagon for a second. This is key though...I am not ashamed. I'm finally having the courage to hold my hands up and go 'Sorry, that's just how I am'!
Yes, I love this blog.
Yes, I want to go on date night.
Yes, I will clean the car on my day off.
Yes, I am feeling ok.
The sad thing is only 50% of the above 'Yes' statements are true. I love my blog and I want to go on date night. Sorry Craig, I won't clean the car. Sorry everyone but I am not feeling ok. But that is ok and I am beginning to see that now! Now I do not feel shameful about how I feel.
You tend to find that blog posts toward the end of December months are usually an update on what Father Christmas dropped down your chimney, how much food you willingly ate over the two, maybe three, day period or what New Year Resolutions you are going to uptake as of the 1st January ....!
That was originally what I was going to post about in the new year alongside an obligatory, 'I will blog every week' resolution, however something changed today. Today for me hasn't been a good day. Having been up the majority of the night coughing and wheezing in an upright position, the day didn't start well, nor did it continue to improve. The weather meant that many people were forced to ring in at work and so even though I looked like the corpse of many a dead cattle, I wrapped up in my winter warmers and trudged through the snow to work. That was until two hours later, it was thought it best that I go back home and stop infecting the world with my 'Walking Dead-esque' lurgy!
So what happened when I got home? Nothing. A big, fat, nothing. I pulled on my comfy jimjams, whacked up the heating to a tropical degree and crawled into bed full of beechams all in one (flueous goneous potion is my preferred term), and drifted in and out of consciousness for a good six hours!
It wasn't until half past 6 that I realised it had happened. I woke because I heard a stirring downstairs and moments later I heard a booming sound running up the stairs. And he was there. He was there just looking at me, asking me how I felt. Did I want a glass of water? Did I need more medicine? Do you want some food? And it was in that moment, right there, that I felt truly grateful for this life. In front of me stood a very tall, very cold man, who above everything only wanted to help me. I don't give him enough credit. Without going into a ridiculously generic speech about how amazing and wonderful he is, well he is quite amazing and wonderful. Through everything we have overcome I cannot believe we are here all those years later.
So after Craig had left to go out, I couldn't really face being asleep for much more of my day so I just lay down and started thinking about what I am grateful for. Much like the Americans do on thanksgiving. It started with things such as;
1. My family - Everyday gets harder but also that little bit easier
2. My friends - You guys are the glue to my bricks of life!
3. My career - You've taken a strange, but incredible turn!
4. My house - I have a sturdy roof over my head.
Then somewhere down the list, it turned to this...;
12. My health - Yes! I have my health. I may not be the most sane person you will ever meet, but I have my health. I suffer from panic attacks, so what?! I cry at ladies dropping bread in Asda, so what?! I do have anxiety of many forms, so what?! I may even be slightly depressed at times, but so what?! It could be so much worse than that. So for now, I will take what hand i've been given and from this moment on I am all in! Some people don't have half the opportunities that have been thrown my way. For some people, such simple tasks take months to perfect. I will no longer wallow in self pity and respond to this self destruct button that I have lurking somewhere in my body. What is the point?
Then after a few moments had passed, I smiled. I may be slowly turning into a zombie like creature thanks to the infamous flu, but right now I am in a happy place. So my mission for tomorrow is throw as much vitamin C down my throat as possible, steam all the cold out of me in a long hot bath and dose up on Flueous goneous ready for mad Monday at work!
As for resolutions... I won't be doing them this year. Instead, let's take a look at what happened this year that made it incredible!!
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I went fishing for the cry first time! |
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My pooch makes me laugh every single day! |
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This happens nearly every night at bed time! |
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Eternal love for you guys! Waltzer kiddies!! |
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Me and Craig became hardcore kids!! |
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Primark released the BEST line of jimjams I have ever seen!! |
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My love <3 |
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Candid camera moments!! |
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Doglet's first snow night!! |
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This is for you Mullens!! |
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Prom July 2010 |
These days...
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Specsavers Ball December 2014 |
And he still brings me a chip butty when I ask him too!!
I'm happy.I will continue to blog.
I'm sure I will still be having many a dramatic moment in many months to come.
But I will be taking a more positive direction and I hope I can keep you all thoroughly entertained whatever I choose to blog about.
This was me, coming to you from my sickbed, because I needed to talk to somebody...and it might as well be you guys! I'm off now to get even more sleep and taken even more medicine. I love you, you crazy bunch!!
Peace out!
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